I’m convinced you can find happiness with astrology. I fact, I use astrology as a too for “happiness guidance” every day. But on this day, I was starting to get pissed.
Anger doesn’t come easily to me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve seen anger as a pointless, waste of energy.
“Attention is selective.” Or, you only really see what you look at.
Disappointment? Sadness? Oh, sure, and for very brief periods, those made sense to me. But not anger.
How often have I quoted to others, safe and warm and secure in my little clean space, sipping something warm and rarified, staring at an opulently large, bright screen:
“Emotions are the body’s reaction to the mind. Change your thinking or your point of view, and you’ll find the peace — if not the happiness — you’re after.”
Those are true words. But they’re damned hard to swallow when your throat is already glutted with the rest of your body’s so-called reactions.
Rose-Colored Glasses
Without weighing you down with tons of details, I was having a long, rough go of it finding employment. (What? You thought all astrologers were were independently wealthy — if not deliriously happy 24/7? Silly head.) Or rather, employment that seemed to fit with my experience, both in terms of seniority and industry. Everything was and is changing in the world that I was educated for, namely, the odd and fraught marriage of creativity and marketing.
I used to be Don Draper, sorta. But Don’s world ended a long time ago.
After a number of missteps, recruiter calls, and a very wide swath of time spent with no activity whatsoever, I finally started getting interviews. My 10th house was full of Jupiter and luxury-bringing Venus, and needless to say, the hope was flying high.
Never mind the Chiron in your 2nd house. Never mind the transiting Chiron squaring your 5th house Sun. Press on, old boy, press on! Your Midheaven is conjunct, literally, by Jove!
Yeah. #AttentionIsSelective
Unhealable Wounds
One “slam dunk” interview went south; a rejection days later with no explanation, followed by a recruiter call saying “It wasn’t you. You interviewed well. They went with a much cheaper candidate. It came down to money.”
Then, a major scheduled interview was cancelled. The all-too-familiar text on my iPhone’s email app from the HR lady also cited Filthy Lucre: “The position has been put on hold. I’m so sorry to have to cancel with such late notice. I’ll be sure to circle back when our needs change.”
The rationalization came on as soothing as, well, pouring iodine into a wound. (See what I did there?)
“Faugh! You didn’t want to interview for that spot, anyway. It’s a blessing in disguise.”
Both true statements, but fueled with hurt. Pain always taints the truth to the one hurting.
Neptune squaring Jupiter? Heck — My natal Neptune is high in my 9th, and I’m an astrologer, damnit! I’ve got a hold on my hopes, my dreams; I know what I’m capable of! This employment, income, self-acceptance drought is about to end, and it’s gonna be grand…”
“A Finger Pointing at the Moon”
The plumber that gets your repeat business (assuming you’re consistently fubar’ing your pipes and drains) or at least gets your referral to friends and family, is the one that arrives on time, quickly takes care of the mess, charges you a fee in line with their courteous professionalism, and scoots along their way without leaving crud or goop on your floor and showing you too much butt-crack.
They didn't show you how to use PVC cement, or how to sweat a pipe (if your house is as old as mine) and if they did, you’d either not understand or care — because that’s not why you called them.
When Do I Meet My Pookie-Wuggums?
There was a sudden rush of attention in my inbox and texts on my phone for a week or two. That Jupiter conjunction with the Midheaven made sure of it. But I only kept my eyes and dreams on a “rescue” coming through: a management position out of the blue that I hadn’t sought out, a big freelance project with a high-on-the-hog fee for comparatively little effort, and other such mirages.
Therefore, feeling as if I’d been baited and switched so many times in so few days, I poured some fresh coffee made from delicious beans and sat back down in my comfortable office chair in front of that great, big, bright screen.
And I looked to the transiting moon.
I wanted to find my upset. In fact, I wanted to glorify it. If it was nasty and bad, all the better. I wanted to swim in my own snot.
Consequently, I was being self-servingly selective as my eyes circled the ring of planets.
And there it was.
There’s the moon, in fiery brash Leo, transiting my 7th house, all squared-up to my natal 9th house Neptune. The irritated wage-earner, full of ire for having to be the wage-earner, self-self-deceived and pissy about it.
But. Wait. What’s that thin blue line…
Not the Dark Side of the Moon
That same irksome Moon, simultaneously squared to Neptune, was in a buoyant, supportive, goddamnit, even happy sextile to my Natal 4th house Jupiter.
Regardless of the struggles, regardless of wages or fees offered that are less than the salary surveys, regardless of your tenure, your history, your resume — you get to build your home. You’re healthy, you’re capable, you’re alive, the handful of people closest to you support you.
In fact, look further…
Oft-maligned Saturn, instead of restriction, supports your own Natal moon. Discipline and duty become the ability to care and provide for those you love.
X Marks the Spot
Advancing my software forward, one truthful day at a time, those first and second house transiting squares aren’t going anywhere until early spring of next year.
They are solidly in place through the winter.
They are, in fact, foundational for me through the cold, dark months. Heavy aspects, placed low; veritable beams holding up my internal structure of self-worth.
How do you reconcile flashes of hope that recede so quickly into a dark background?
You must hold to one of several immutable facts that govern all good astrological counsel, especially when you’re reading your own charts:
Every aspect has a positive and negative charge. You must always read the balance, and you must always read aspects in context with the whole chart — never in isolation.
You Always Have Something to Work With
No matter how dire things seem, no matter how alone you feel, no matter how paltry your resources appear, you always have something you can use.
Summary
When times are challenging, make the conscious choice to seek out what you have now to work with, to flip, to convert.
Seriously consider saying “yes” to what comes in those times. Even seemingly paltry opportunities can be pre-loaded with goodness.
Just as you cannot know the joy of happiness unless you’ve experienced the pang of sadness to contrast it with, when even the mustard seed appears during your desperate search for a big, juicy steak, plant that seed. It’s filled with real energy, real potential, real life.
Finding happiness with astrology is like finding your way to any destination using a guidance tool; it can show you multiple ways to get where you want to go, but you still have to decide which path, which vehicle, and when to take action.
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