When you’ve got an issue that needs a professional, i.e., “Honey! I’ve glutted the throne again!“ the last thing you expect the expensive bloke to do once he arrives is start explaining to you what he’s about to do and why. After all, he’s on the clock! So, why does virtually every online astrologer insist on trying to “teach” you astrology?
I’ll give you clear advice, not “Teach you Astrology.”
Houses and planets and asteroids and progressions nodes and quincunxes and OH MY WHAT THE #$%^ IS ALL THIS STUFF?
I mean, you sit down at your computer, or snuggle up on your sofa with your smartphone in hand, and while dreaming of the new hot guy down in accounting, you tap into Google, “astrology when will I find my soulmate.”
Instead of finding an astrologer that speaks to the greater themes of human attraction and how the alignment of energy works, not to mention the fact that you're not gonna find your honey pookie wuggums until you’ve done the hard work of knowing Who You Are, first, you find someone local who claims to be an astrologer who opines about how your Vertex needs to be conjunct Mr. Accounting’s Vertex, or at least making a snuggly aspect to your Venus.
Doesn't a “Vertex” sound like something you lubricate and insert before, you know, doing the nasty? WTF?
The tools of astrology are many, and what’s more, astrology comes with it’s own complete language and communication structure. It’s much more than just symbols and horoscopes; it’s an ancient way of looking at patterns and energy and relating them to time, emotion, and human behavior. That’s genuinely deep stuff. And it takes a lifetime to become truly proficient, much less master it.
And that’s just the “mechanics” of astrology. What about psychology, spirituality, and understanding of communication styles, learning styles, personality types…?
Astrology isn’t fatalistic, or even exact
In other words, you can’t just take a rote interpretation of a planet / house / aspect characteristic and apply it slap-dash to a question that has to do with human choices and interpersonal relationships.
#LifeDoesntWorkThatWay, and neither does astrology.
Let’s look at it this way; you may have heard the “weather report for your soul” analogy about astrology. And it’s a good one. As you groggily flip through MyAdFilledWeatherApp-dot-com while still enmeshed in your 600-thread-count sheets, you see that there’s a 40% chance of thunderstorms. Hmm. “Less than half a chance,” you incorrectly think to yourself.
The point is this: there is a fair likelihood that water will fall out of the sky on you at some point in the day if you’re out in the elements, but it’s in no way guaranteed. What’s more, even if it were pouring felines and pooches while you’re munching your Post-Toasties, you’d still have the option of bringing an umbrella or going full-on nor'easter and galoshes.
You always, always, always have free choice over Every. Single. Situation in your life. No matter what. Even if your physicality were constrained, your resources evaporated, and your relationships severed, you’d still retain the choice of how to respond emotionally, mentally, verbally, etc. Happiness is always an option.
So Back to the Plumber…
The plumber that gets your repeat business (assuming you’re consistently fubar’ing your pipes and drains) or at least gets your referral to friends and family, is the one that arrives on time, quickly takes care of the mess, charges you a fee in line with their courteous professionalism, and scoots along their way without leaving crud or goop on your floor and showing you too much butt-crack.
They didn't show you how to use PVC cement, or how to sweat a pipe (if your house is as old as mine) and if they did, you’d either not understand or care — because that’s not why you called them.
When Do I Meet My Pookie-Wuggums?
For what it’s worth, if you asked me that question, my answer would be something like, “Honestly, I have no flippin’ clue! But I can tell you that between X date and Y date, the energy is strong for you to encounter someone from another culture or mindset that will fascinate you, and the most likely places to experience this will be in your workplace, or while engaged in an activity related to your profession.”
Now isn’t that a lot easier to grasp then someone jabbering about your Vertex?
Summary
Most astrologers have scads of videos or articles about house placements, aspects, and “Your 20XX Horoscope by Sign or Ascendant.” Me? Meh.
My consulting sessions are live and video-recorded for you, and uploaded to a server for your repeated viewing. They’re also limited to 60 minutes. Do you really want me babbling about esoteric jargon when time is precious?
The web is replete with information about transits, progressions, how to read a synastry, etc. If you really wanted to do it yourself, you could knock yourself out. Multiple times.